Til I Die
by Fyrrestarr
Summary: A different look at "Le Morte d'Arthur" but a good one (hopefully). Arthur finds out about Merlin and his second trip to the Isle of the Blessed and goes to save him. Magic Reveal. No slash!
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: This will probably be a few chapters, at most only five. And pretty much all of this chapter is dialogue. Umm...enjoy? :D**

**AU: Okay, take the episode "Le Morte d'Arthur" and move it to the end of season two. That is when this takes place. Everything else in season one and season two stays the same.**

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"_I need to talk to you." (M)_

"_You still haven't got it yet, have you? I decide when we need to talk."(A)_

"_Not today." (M)_

"_I sometimes wonder if you know who I am." (A)  
"Oh, I know who you are." (M)_

"_Good." (A)_

"_You're a prat. And a royal one." (M)_

_*A laughs*_

"_Are you ever going to change, Merlin?" (A)_

"_No. You'd get bored. Promise me this, if you get another servant, don't get a bootlicker." (M)_

"_Is this you trying to leave your job?" (A)_

"_No. I'm happy to be your servant till the day I die." (M)_

"_Sometimes I think I know you, Merlin. Other times…"(A)_

"_Well, I know you, and you're a great warrior. One day you will be a great King." (M)_

"_That's very kind of you." (A)_

"_But you must learn to listen as well as you fight." (M)_

"_Any other pointers?" (A)_

"_No. That's it. Just don't be a prat." (M)_

_*M leaves*_

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"One moment, Merlin."

Merlin looked back. "Yes, Sire?"

"Before you go to be for the night send Gaius to me. I need to discuss something with him."

Merlin nodded in response, bowed slightly, and left, closing the door quietly behind him. Arthur was confused. Not just slightly confused, but very, very confused: utterly bemused even. Why had it sounded like Merlin was saying goodbye, even though he said he was going to be there for Arthur until he died? That was why Arthur needed to speak with Gaius. Gaius would know. He always knows what Merlin is up to. A few minutes later, a soft knock hit his door.

"Enter."

Gaius stuck his head in. "You called for me, my lord?"

"Ah, yes, Gaius. Come in. Please, sit down." Gaius shuffled over and sat down next to the prince.

Arthur took a deep breath and began. "Is everything okay with Merlin?" Gaius opened his mouth to tell Arthur a lie, but the trusting, worried look on the prince's face stopped him. He closed his mouth and "hmm"-ed.

"Please don't lie to me," Arthur pleaded.

Gaius sighed and said, "I'm sorry, Sire, but I cannot say. It's not my place to and it's not the right time."

"Whose place is it then? Time for what? You have to tell me!"

"It's Merlin's."

"Merlin? But he's just a bumbling oaf most of the time. What's happening Gaius? I'm not a child anymore. Tell me….please," said Arthur.

Gaius's face contorted slightly with indecision until he finally spoke. "Merlin plans on leaving in the morning…. Forever."

Arthur stared at Gaius in astonishment. "I'm sorry, but did you just say he's leaving forever?" Gaius nodded.

"But….why? Why would he just leave? Without saying goodbye? ..but…but… he said he was going to be here for me until he…." Arthur trailed off as the realization hit him. Merlin _had_ been saying goodbye.

"He said 'I'm happy to be your servant till the day I die'... Gaius, is Merlin dying? That's the only reason why he would have been saying goodbye and now be leaving forever. "

"No."

"What?"

Gaius grimaced grimly. "I'm not doing a very good job explaining this, am I?"

"Not at all."

"Merlin plans on leaving tomorrow morning as soon as the sun can be seen in the sky. He does not plan on returning. He believes that this is a journey that he will not survive. And I'm afraid he is quite right, Sire. There can be no return journey for Merlin."

"Why?"

"He has something that he believes he needs to do."

"Where's he traveling to?"

"What?"

"Where's he traveling to?"

"Why does it matter?"

"I'm going with him. He has traveled with me on every one of my potentially-fatal quests. I'm going with him on his."

"You can't, Sire!"

"Why not?"

"It is a quest that only he can go undertake. You can not accompany him, Sire."

"I can. I am the crown prince of Camelot and I will do what I want!"

"But you don't know all that you should! This needs to be for Merlin and Merlin alone!"

"Gaius. Where is he traveling to?"

Gaius heaved a sigh, knowing that Arthur would persist until he received an answer. "To the Isle of the Blessed where the sorceress and high priestess of the old religion Nimueh resides."

Once again, just as Arthur believed he knew he had some semblance of what Gaius was talking about, he was thrown off-course. "What? Why on earth would he travel there?"

"He needs something."

"But Nimueh will kill him! He can't defend himself against a thrown goblet, let alone magic! Why would he go there? What does he need from a sorceress? Why would you let him go?"

"I can't stop him. Merlin is a very stubborn, young man. He's doing what he believes is best." Gaius paused for a moment as if unsure of what to tell the young prince or even whether to continue speaking.

"Best for what? For who? And what does he need?"

"A life, Sire."

"A life? He wants to kill someone? Who? Why? …..what? The more you speak, the less I feel I know! Cease speaking in riddles!"

"Not to take a life, but to save one. Merlin knows well the ways of the old religion from reading old manuscripts I have in my chambers and the ones contained in the castle archives. His mother is dying. He intends to go again to the Isle of the Blessed and trade his life for hers."

"Again? What do you mean, again?"

"A slip of the tongue, my lord. Nothing else."

"No, it wasn't. Tell me what you mean by 'again'."

"Really. It was nothing. It _is_ nothing."

"Gaius, tell me. I need to know. …..he's my friend. If I'm going to save him from himself, I need to know everything that has happened and that will happen."

"The Questing Beast was a powerful magical creature. Its poison is fatal. There is no cure, not even with most magic."

"But you healed me. I got better. Why are you telling me this? How is this relevant?"

"Hush. It was not I, Sire, who healed you but rather Merlin. He traveled to the Isle of the Blessed and petitioned Nimueh for your life. But the law of the old religion is a life for a life. With a life given or saved there must also be a death, a life taken."

"Whose life did he trade?"

"His own."

"What? Gaius, you're not making sense again. Shouldn't he be dead then?"

"Put simply, Nimueh tricked him and warped the laws of the old religion to fit her own purposes. She chose his mother's life and not his. That is why he has decided to go there once again and trade for her life."

"Whose life did he trade for the first time? Mine?"

"It was the only way to save you."

"You didn't stop him? Why wouldn't you? Why would you have let him do such a thing?"

"Despite the fact that he is a son to me and I love him more than anyone else in the world and would do anything to protect him, he and I both understand that your destiny has yet to be fulfilled. It is you that needs to be protected and saved. It is you who has a destiny to change the world. Merlin already knows his destiny and how his life goes. He believes in the world you will create…and so do I."

"Destiny? I have a destiny? To do what? And how does Merlin know his? Why would our destinies matter?"

"It is a long tale, my lord. And it contains information that you may not want to know."

"I need to know. If I am to go after Merlin and save him from himself, I need to know everything."

"Do you trust me?"

"Yes."

"Do you trust Merlin?"

"Of course! But why."

"With your life?" Gaius interrupted.

"Yes. I trust him more than anyone!"

"Then swear to me that what I am about to tell you never leaves this room. That you will never tell another soul what I am going to tell you now."

"Gaius…."

"Swear this to me."

"Although I do this against my better judgment, I swear that whatever you say to me now will never reach another person's ears."

"Very well. To start, you should know a very big and heavily guarded secret. Merlin has, since his birth, been a warlock."

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**Author's Note: I hope you enjoyed that. If anyone has any ideas for the title, please share them. I'm not sure I like it, but at the moment, it's all I can think of. Anyways, please review! I love to hear your comments and/or complaints. :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: My apologies for the slow update. However, thank you so much to all of you who have favorited, reviewed, alerted, and read this fanfiction. Here's the second chapter...enjoy! :D**

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Arthur was dumfounded….speechless….. He wasn't sure what he had been expected Gaius to tell him, but it was most certainly not the fact that Merlin has magic. He was in fact rather insulted that Gaius would make such a joke when they were having such a serious discussion about Merlin and what was going to happen to him. "Gaius, this is not the time for jokes! You need to give me the truth about everything."

"I am not joking. Merlin was born a warlock," Gaius said seriously.

Arthur could see the sincerity in Gaius's eyes, but still couldn't believe that Merlin had magic. "But….but…. magic's evil."

"Don't you dare say that! Not about Merlin! He has saved your life more times than he or I can count. He only ever uses his magic for you. To keep you and Camelot safe from harm. And he's never had a choice in knowing magic."

"But he's a sorcerer. And there's always a choice," Arthur protested. There was no such thing as a good sorcerer. Didn't all of them learn magic so they could cause harm?

"Warlock. Not sorcerer."

"What?" Once again, Gaius had struck Arthur flabbergasted.

"His magic is instinctual. He was born with it. Thus, he is a warlock, not a sorcerer."

"There's a difference?"

"Yes. People like me, before the Great Purge, went and actively learned magic. We had to study for many years and were taught how to access magic. That is what a sorcerer is. A warlock has natural abilities. They are born with magic, though generally it develops in young adulthood. For Merlin, it developed as soon as he was born."

"What? Why? Why is Merlin so special?"

"Well, I had hoped to avoid telling you about this until later or even wait for Merlin to tell you, however since you've asked.….he is, according to Druidic prophesies, supposedly the most powerful warlock to ever walk this earth and that will ever walk this earth. "

"Merlin? Powerful? Yeah, right." Arthur denied. There was no way that his clumsy manservant was powerful or the stuff found in prophecies….there was just no way.

"He is sire. Though he rarely ever uses his powers to that extent."

"If, as you say, he is that powerful, why on earth would he need my help? Can't he just say a spell and fix his mother?"

"The powers of Life and Death don't work that way," explained Gaius. "A life saved requires a life given."

The wheels began to turn faster inside Arthur's head. "So Merlin, the most powerful _warlock_ ever, is going to the Isle of the Blessed again to give up his life for his mother's?"

It occurred to Arthur for one second to let this happen. Magic was against the law. Magic had killed his mother. Magic was evil. Uther's continuous mantras resounded in his head.

Yet, Arthur could not reconcile the word evil with Merlin. Merlin was… as far from evil as possible. He was an idiot, clumsy, lazy, and one of the nicest people Arthur had ever met. The first time they met, Merlin had tried to stop him from bullying a servant. They had saved each other's lives several times.

Merlin was _not_ evil.

"I'm going to the Isle," Arthur announced. "Merlin is my manservant. He doesn't get to die without my permission."

"It seems as if you two really are two sides of the same coin," Gaius sighed in relief. At first he had thought that Arthur's silence had meant that he was not going to go after Merlin. He had always been more worried of a negative reaction than Merlin was, but now Arthur had proved to him that there was no need to worry.

"When does he plan to leave again?" Arthur asked.

"In the morning, Sire, as soon as the sun can be seen."

Arthur stood up and clapped his hands together. It was probably only around midnight. "Good, let's go speak to him now. See if we can help him find a solution other than having him end his life." With that said, Gaius also stood up and they left the prince's chambers.

"I know it probably doesn't need to be said, but I shall say it anyways. Please don't say a word of this to anyone," Gaius said.

"I won't. Especially my father," Arthur promised.

They continued down the corridor in amicable silence, both thinking of what they would say to the young warlock and trying to come up with ways to save both Merlin and his mom.

"Merlin?" called Arthur as he opened the door to Gaius's chambers.

"He's probably asleep in his room," said Gaius. "Just don't wake Hunith."

Arthur nodded and walked over to the door to Merlin's room and carefully pushed it open, not making a sound. Then he quickly closed it and turned around to look at Gaius. A look of shock and even horror covered his face.

"He's gone. He's already left."

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**Author's Note: Hope you enjoyed that. Please review if you have time! THANKS!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: I apologize for the delay. I have just been lacking inspiration lately. That and I had a recent head injury and was ordered away from all electronics. However, I am back now! :) Thank you very much to all who have read, reviewed, favorited, and followed! Enjoy this chapter!**

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"What?"

Arthur crossed the room and sat down on one of the old wooden chairs Gaius had. "He's….he's gone… Hunith is in his bed sleeping, but he's not in there. …you don't think he left already do you?" he asked voicing his fear. Merlin couldn't just leave without giving Arthur a chance to talk to him and having a chance to explain his magic.

Gaius hurried over to where his cloak was hanging. "I must go after him!"

"What? Gaius, you'll never catch up in time!" Arthur jumped to his feet.

"I'm sorry, Sire, but I have to go. He's like a son to me."

"No, Gaius. I'll go. You stay here and watch his mother. I'll bring him back." With that decision made, Arthur walked to the door to leave, his determination increasing with every step he took. He could do this. He could catch up with Merlin and bring him back alive.

As Arthur was almost out the door, Gaius stopped him, "Wait."

"Yes?"

"When you find him, please do not be too angry. Everything he has done, he's done for you and for Camelot."

That was when Arthur knew that he still couldn't hide his true feelings from Gaius. Gaius knew him too well. And right now Gaius knew that even though Arthur was worried for Merlin and wanted to save him, he was angry and hurt by Merlin's actions and lies. With a heavy sigh Arthur nodded, then left, closing the door softly behind him.

On his way back to his chambers, Arthur went through the list of things he had to do. He had to prepare some traveling gear and get his horse ready, but most of all he had to avoid his father, all of the knights, and the guards. Lady Luck was on his side tonight; he successfully gathered his gear and his horse and in a small amount of time was outside of the gates of Camelot following his map towards the Isle of the Blessed.

_…..meanwhile by Merlin….._

"You know I had to leave tonight, Ayleth. If I had waited until morning, Gaius would have gone in my place. He thinks that I don't know the lengths he would go to for me, but I know him fairly well. He wouldn't have let me leave. He thinks I have more adventures coming in life, but my destiny has decided this is my last adventure," Merlin said. A quiet snuffle was his only response.

"I know. I'm talking to a horse. Not very useful….or sane."

"You can say that again."

Merlin whirled around in shock at the voice.

"Maybe if you had been paying attention, you would have heard us coming. Not that there was anything you could have done about it, boy."

Now as Merlin took in his surroundings, he realized that he was surrounded.

"You don't want to do this. I'm on a quest, and you don't want to get in my way," Merlin threatened quietly.

That only caused laughter from the bandits. "Oh, ho, ho! Look at this unarmed boy, threatening us, telling us to leave him alone or he'll hurt us!" their leader said mockingly.

Merlin stood up. "I am not jesting. You should leave me alone or you'll regret it."

"Liar. Grab him boys. Tie him up. We'll find a slaver to take him."

Merlin gave a small huff. "I really wish you hadn't forced me to do this." He stretched his hands out in front of him slowly.

"Oh, yeah? What are you going to do boy? Push us over?"

Merlin shook his head slightly. "No. I'm going to do this." His eyes gave a small flash of gold and no other words fell from his lips. The men encircling him gasped before they flew into the air before crashing down, yards away, and being knocked unconscious. Once again, Merlin gave a heavy sigh. He hated using his magic to harm others, but this was necessary. He had to get to the Isle of the Blessed as fast as he could; he had to save his mother.

"Looks like it's time to continue our journey Ayleth. We have a long ways to go and I'd rather not be around when these ruffians awaken."

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**Author's Note: Hope you enjoyed this chapter! I know it was rather short, but I thought this story needed a small filler chapter here, before continuing on. The next one will be longer (and posted soon)! Please review if you have time! Thanks! :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: Here's the next chapter! Thanks for the patience!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin.**

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Arthur pulled his horse to a stop on the crest of a hill attempting to guess which way Merlin had gone. There were two possible quick ways to get to the Isle of the Blessed and they took about the same amount of time, not factoring in bandits or fallen trees or any other mishaps. One way was through the Valley of the Fallen Kings; the other was by crossing a wide river multiple times as it snaked through the forest.

"If only it was daytime then I'd be able to see some smoke or something through this damn rain," Arthur muttered. In truth, it wasn't raining hard enough to hinder his vision and it would be easier to see light from a fire at night, but he had to blame something or he'd have to focus of the real reason for his anxiety: his worry about Merlin and his anger at Merlin.

Making a decision, Arthur headed towards the forest. As much as Merlin hated the Valley of the Fallen Kings, it was quite a bit safer than the river, especially at night. And knowing Merlin, he'd want to get to the isle as fast and as safely as he could. Knowing he could possibly have several hours more of riding before finding Merlin, he pulled the hood of his cloak over his head to block the rain and shifted to be more comfortable in the saddle. This was going to be a long night.

…an hour later…

A sharp crack caught Arthur's attention and he drew his horse to a standstill. He didn't see anyone around, but just to be safe he pulled his sword from its scabbard and called out.

"Who's there? Show yourself!"

There was no reply, only more rustling.

"I demand you show yourself!"

A small doe ran out on to the path and then seeing Arthur quickly sprinted away. Arthur sighed in relief; it wasn't bandits. Continuing onward, Arthur thought of what he would say to Merlin. Betrayal and anger were almost overpowering and kept convoluting his thoughts. After all they had been through, why wouldn't Merlin share his secret with him, after all, he shared everything with Merlin. Why wouldn't it be the same? Surely Merlin knew that he was Arthur's friend despite their different stations in life.

Arthur sighed and shook his head, "I'll just have to talk to him to get the answers."

…some time later…

Arthur knew of a nearby clearing and felt like he should at least stop to build a fire and warm up a bit before continuing onward; the rain and night air were starting to get to him. Turning off the path, he made his way through the trees, only to stop short a minute later.

Looking around in shock, there were men lying across the clearing, far away from the fire, and they weren't sleeping. Only one thing could have done this to these men…sorcery, which most likely meant…Merlin.

The thoughts flew through his mind:

Merlin had come through here.

Merlin had thrown these men.

Merlin had thrown these men with magic.

The men weren't dead.

Merlin hadn't killed them.

Merlin left without killing them.

Merlin had used magic to defend himself.

Arthur shook his head to stop the train of thoughts. He'd sort it out later, for now he had to leave and catch up with Merlin. He couldn't be that far away.

_by Merlin_

On the shore across from the isle, Merlin stood, taking in the sight. Fog and mist rose above the lake, obscuring the ruins he knew were on the island. The light of the day had just begun to show, adding to the mysterious effect the place held.

"I need a rest, Ayleth, before I go to Nimueh," Merlin told his horse as he settled on the ground with a mighty oak to his back. "Then I'll find a way to send you home safe. Dead warlocks don't need transportation."

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**Author's Note: Hope you enjoyed that. Please review if you have time! THANKS!**

**Next chapter will be the beginning of the confrontation between Nimueh and Merlin.**


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